Tuesday, May 13, 2014


On yesterday, I came across a photo on a website that showed Republican Ann Coulter holding a sign that read #BringBackOurCountry. She was sporting a pout undoubtedly intended to mock our First Lady, Michelle Obama, whose photo shows Mrs. Obama holding a sign that reads #BringBackOurGirls.  While the FOTUS's display is, of course, in response to the kidnapping of more than 300 Nigerian schoolgirls on April 14th, by the radical Islamist group Boko Haram, Coulter seizes the opportunity to take a shot at the President and/or Democrats with a political statement that seems an ill-timed, tasteless opinion that makes light of the situation in Nigeria.

Based on Coulter's views and opinions, I could only wonder if she would feel differently had this atrocity taken place in a European country. While I am definitely aware that there are non-blacks in America, and around the globe, who are disgusted with the crime, I still question if she would be more sensitive toward the subject if the little girls were mostly blonde and blue-eyed.  Interestingly enough, Coulter is said to either have dated, or is currently dating 1970s African American comedian and actor Jimmie Walker (best known for his role as J.J. Evans on 70s sitcom "Good Times").  I became intrigued with how he felt about her distasteful shenanigans. Did he chastise her for a political statement whose timing suggests a level of cultural insensitivity? Did he ask if she would have done the same thing if the little girls looked more like her? Did he laugh and tell her that she was brilliant? While I am careful to not spend too much time beating him up for her actions, I was just curious how a black man who is dating the white subject at hand, deals with or addresses such a situation.

As I gave further consideration, I asked myself,  "What is the value of little black girls?" Is it an even exchange for prisoners? Is it a few hundred dollars, or is it something more? For further consideration, these girls were abducted while attempting to learn as much as they could in an effort to become better citizens. Their willingness to do so illustrates, to me, something worth more than dollars-it illustrates their parents' (and their own) desire for a better quality of life.

In wake of Coulter's foolery and insensitivity, I echo the sentiments of Mrs. Obama, and others with compassion who suggest #BringBackOurGirls.  In addition, I dare to take one step further as I lament....#BringBackOurValue.

Sunday, May 11, 2014


As this Mother's Day passed, I had to give serious consideration to what Mama actually means to me. So many transgender women and men suffer the cruel reality of facing the world alone; ofttimes as a result of rejection from their parents and families. The very thought of being rejected by the woman who once nurtured, loved, protected, and possibly carried you is something that the strongest person could probably not endure.

Although my announcing to my mother that I was transgender was emotional for all involved, I had to dig deeper in an effort to put myself in the position of a woman who carried and birthed a child who was seemingly male until said child's maturation and self identification suggested otherwise. How must she have felt to not know what to say? How did she handle (privately) the confusion and the hurt? To whom could she turn in a small city with no obvious resources for parents of trans? Even though we have since discussed some of these questions, and their very honest answers, I can't help but wonder if her love for me, and her support of my happiness are overshadowed by some type of shame, guilt, or disappointment in knowing that her once beautiful, seemingly male child is and always was, more comfortable, more outgoing, and more at peace as her female self.

After I let go of the resentment that I harbored toward my mother for not supporting my feelings during my teenage years, I was able to see her as a woman who did the best that she could with the resources that she had. Even when she did not understand, or did not know exactly what to do, she made it clear that she loved me. Now that I am an adult, I cherish the relationship that we've built as a result of what could have ultimately torn us apart.  While I am aware that not all trans people are fortunate enough to have what I have come to so greatly appreciate, I ask that those readers please forgive me for endulging, but I must say Happy Mother's Day to the woman who has become my fiercest ally.

I love you Mama.

Gotcha!!! The Transwoman's Role In Her Own Humiliation

I was confronted with certain feelings on yesterday when I read on an urban website that Eddie Murphy had been exposed by a transgender escort. Although this is not the first incident, as some may recall, I could not help but feel strongly about this particular announcement.

 As a transgender woman who lives as female, (not as a she male, not an escort, not a tranny, a trap, or a female impersonator), I was a bit disappointed by the whole gotcha!! moment that was created by the escort herself. I asked myself if it was shameful to play a role in your own public humiliation. I mean just for consideration, by exposing a man for his interest in transgender women (by a transgender woman), and by asking for financial compensation as a motive to go away and not speak on it again suggests to me that she feels as if it is something wrong with being with her. This role that some trans women play in the stereotyping, the ridicule, the discrimination, and sometimes the violence against trans women is disheartening. I walk in a certain light and pride myself (humbly) in not being a stereotype. As a result, I hope that it illustrates (to those willing to be educated) that as a trans woman, I want to be treated with respect and with dignity, but I find it impossible for people to do so if I don't take an active role in teaching them how to view me. Not to make light of any of the many struggles and obstacles that accompany being transgender (including the belief of some that they are relegated to roles as sex workers), I wonder if the bigger shame should have been that he was with an escort, and not that he was with an attractive female who happened to be transgender.